Ah, Valentine’s Day. The day when romance abounds and hearts go aflutter with the love of the significant other.
But, what about the rest of us? You know…the people who are single. These are the people who look at Valentine’s Day and cringe.
For years, Valentine’s Day has been a day when two people go out to a fancy restaurant and shower each other with expensive gifts.
But, for the rest of us, it’s just another day…a day to spend just doing what you did the day before and will do the day after.
Where did the “holiday” get started? According to The History Channel, it all started because of Saint Valentine. According to this story, February has always been a month to show affection. As of now, “Valentine’s Day” (as it is now dubbed) is “the second largest card-sending holiday of the year.”
That’s where I, as a writer and citizen, have the problem.
If you go by the rest of the world’s behavior and actions, most people are “too busy” to do anything most of the year. However, come Valentine’s Day, many a boyfriend or husband are expected to do something special for their girlfriends or wives.
No. The ladies may not say anything before the big day. However, when the big day comes, and the “man in her life” has not “stepped up”, he will usually find himself sleeping on the couch. He might be in the doghouse…literally.
Men are a literal folk. Most of them say what they mean and mean what they say. They do not (usually) read into things or look for “the hidden message”.
Unfortunately, this may be where the big problem lies.
Don’t get me wrong. The problem is not all one-sided. Most men, no matter how old the relationship is, just don’t get it. They stay with their lady friend for years, and act like it (or any other day) is just that…any other day…no matter how old the relationship.
To that end, guys are at fault. There comes a time when…as Beyonce once said…you should “put a ring on it” or, at the very least, take the relationship to the next level.
Men are not only literal. They like comfort and stability. They like knowing what’s going on in their lives…especially in their relationships. Although most men like baseball, they hate when their woman throws them a curve ball. The man in question didn’t see it coming, and the woman gets upset because (in her mind) he should have.
To this end, I offer a possible solution…COMMUNICATION.
Gee, what a novel concept.
I, as a middle-aged man, have seen several relationships crumble before my eyes just because they were lacking this one important key element.
For example, you have the woman who really gets her hopes up because “the big day is coming.” On the other side, you have the guy who later looks like a jerk because he didn’t bother to do anything special for his lady.
Does that scenario sound familiar? Moreover, does that scenario sound like one that will work? My guess is “yes” to the first and “no” to the second.
There are many reasons why the divorce rate in America is so high. Each person expects a lot from the other. Yet, nobody is talking to find out what the other person really wants.
It’s true what they say about assuming. If you do so…and it doesn’t work out…don’t you feel like one?
Yet, there is the other side to this equation…the people who make other people look bad.
I’m all for showing affection. But, there is a time and a place for it.
I, currently, am single and am not looking. The reasons for which are not important for this article. However, I say keep the lovey-doveyness away from me. Do all guys have to “step up to the plate” that much? To me, the answer is a big, resounding, NO!
Just because you two lovebirds are in 7th heaven with each other doesn’t mean the rest of us are sitting here with baited breath to hear all about it. In plain English…we’re not! That isn’t to say that we’re not happy for you. We are. However, we don’t all need to see it. If you get mad at us for not “waiting with baited breath”, my suggestion is “don’t”. There are plenty of others to share it with.
That’s where communication also comes into play. Before you go on-and-on about the great relationship you’re in…know your surroundings. Realize that others may not want to wear their hearts on their sleeves…and, don’t want to hear about it either.
To me, Valentine’s Day is – and always will be – Hallmark day. It is the one day out of the year when couples go out on the town and do it up big for the sake of their relationship…not to mention it helps the economy with all those greeting cards.
But, wouldn’t it be better for everyone involved to spread the emotions of that one day year round? Why make one day special? Being in a relationship should always be special…and, it shouldn’t be laden with expensive gifts all the time. Birthdays and Anniversaries are a different story. Those days should always be special.
But, to me, Valentine’s Day is (and should be) just a regular day. Saint Valentine’s Day should be remembered for the feelings of love. Unfortunately, it’s now become just another commercial holiday.
I, for one, will not be made to feel like I am forced to buy something to make someone else happy just because everyone else is doing it. The same thought was expressed about The George Washington Bridge when I was a kid. If others jumped off it, should I do it just because it became a trend? Ladies and gentlemen, the answer to that is a resounding no.
When the time comes that I do have a girlfriend, I’ll be spending my money on her for one reason – because I love her. No other reason. But, she will also understand that I do not feel the need to spend money on her just to prove I love her. Any woman who just wants her man to spend money on her can just keep looking. After all, that’s not love. That’s materialism! No thanks. I’ll stay single until I find someone who loves spending time with me, and isn’t worried about how much money I’m going to – or not going to – spend on her.
Happy Hallmark Day!